Monday, November 24, 2008

JOKES

*******boy and bus driver*******

Little Johnny has a speech impediment. His father taught to him to always be polite to people.

The first day of school, Johnny gets on the bus, remembering what his father told him, says to the bus driver, "Doog moaning buth driber,"

The bus driver slaps him in the mouth, and sends him to the back of the bus.

This goes on for four days.
Finally, Johnny tells his father the problem, "Fatter you tell me to be pollite, but when I do the buth driber shlaps my in ma faith."

His father says, "Tomorrow I will wait at the bus with you."

The next day, there they are waiting for the bus. When it arrives Johnny’s father says, "Go on Johnny get on the bus and be polite."

Johnny does but looks to his father with fear in his eyes.

His father says, "Go on Johnny."

So Johnny, wanting to be as polite as possible says, "Doog moaning buth driber."

With that the bus driver raises his hand in an attempt to strike Johnny in the face, but before he can Johnny father grabs the drivers hand.

He asks, "Why do you smack my son, when all he is doing is being polite?"

The bus driver says, "Betause heeth making fun of me"


*************************************************************************************

******Pathan Joke*******

80,000 Pathans meet in the Peshawar Stadium for a "Pathans Are Not Stupid" Convention.The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that Pathans are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"A Pathan works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks him, "What is 15 plus 15?"After 15 or 20 seconds he says, "Eighteen!" Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 PAthans start cheering, "Give him another chance! Give him another chance!" The leader says, "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give him another chance."So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?" After nearly 30 seconds he eventually says, "Ninety?" The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh -- everyone is disheartened - the Pathan starts crying and the 80,000 men begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, "GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!"The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says, "Ok! Ok! Just one more chance-- What is 2 plus 2?"The man closes his eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, "Four?"Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 pathans jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream..."GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!"

*************************************************************************************

**Sardarji eating**:

ek baar ek sardar khana kha raha tha..
...............................................
..................................................
......................................................
.....................................................
................................................
................................................
......................................................
.............................................................
...............................................
..................................................
......................................................
.....................................................
................................................
................................................
......................................................
.............................................................
...............................................
..................................................
......................................................
.....................................................
................................................
................................................
......................................................
.............................................................
ab kya sardar khana bhi nahin kha sakta!!!!!!!
jaan lelo uski saalon
.


*************************************************************************************
Sardarji on picnic:


Once three sardars decided to go on a picnic.

When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda.

So, the youngest sardar said he would go home and get the soda if the others promised not to eat the sandwiches until he got back.

An hour, a couple of hours, then all day went by.

Both sardars were now very hungry.

Finally one of the sardars said: “Oh, come on, he is not going to be back. Let’s eat the sandwiches.”

Suddenly, the youngest sardar popped up from behind a rock and said: “If you do like this, I wont go.”


*************************************************************************************

WINDOWS XP ERROR MESSAGES:-


A few of the new error messages that were taken under consideration during the development of the Windows XP operating system...

  1. • Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.
  2. • Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
  3. • BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding.
  4. • Close your eyes and press escape three times.
  5. • File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
  6. • Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.
  7. • Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
  8. • Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
  9. • Windows message: "Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)"
  10. • Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)"
*************************************************************************************

*********Laloo Prasad's bio data*************

Laloo Prasad sent his Bio Data - to apply for a post in Microsoft

Corporation, USA.

A few days later he got reply:

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,

You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further

correspondence.

No phone call shall be entertained.

Thanks

Bill Gates.

Laloo prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply.

He arranged a press conference : "Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar

khushi hogee ki hum ko Amereeca mein naukri mil gayee hai."

Everyone was excited. Laloo prasad continued.. "Ab hum aap sab

ko apnaa appointment Letter padkar sunaongaa ? par letter angreeze

main hai - isliyen saath-saath Hindi main translate bhee karoonga.

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad - Pyare Laloo prasad bhaiyya

You do not meet - aap to miltay hee naheen ho

our requirement - humko to zaroorat hai

Please do not send any furthur correspondance - ab Letter vetter

bhejne ka kaouno zaroorat nahee.

No phone call - phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai

shall be entertained - bahut khaatir kee jayegi.

Thanks - aapkaa bahut bahut dhanyavaad.

Bill Gates. -Tohar Billva.





1 comments:

zoram said...

pooor kid lolzzz!!
Yhey! don’t u try using sharing mechanism like Tell-a-Friend so that visitors like us can easily share ur joke & articles with our frens thru blogs,mails,social networking sites, IMs etc. U can register in www.socialtwist.com to get the application.
u made my day with ur jokes :)

Post a Comment